The Calgary Cache and Release event (CCARS10) is holding a photo contest called “Who the Heck is Tommi Potx?”  Tommi Potx is supposedly a very hard to find geocacher.

The gist of the contest is to post a photo of what people think Tommi looks like.  Obviously, I didn’t post a photo.

But I’m still hoping to win!

The hapless soul, a water ring on a coffee table
and you, the bent nail in the door.

All of this, yet nothing
you haven’t heard before.

Senseless ramblings from the radio station
set in between the dials.

Photo by llcadle/Wiki

These paragraphs were originally intended for writers of flash fiction I turned down at Mannequin Envy. This piece could use some editing itself!

I believe that in order to receive anything, whether it is charity, blessings or advice, one has to do so with open hands.  I like to think that these things are given in the same manner.  Once they are given, the giver cannot bully the receiver into demanding how they use these gifts, only trust they will be used with thoughtfulness and care.  This way the receiver has the opportunity to take the gift and use it how he or she best sees fit without guilt or obligation.

When I give critique, I give it freely.  I do not have any expectations that the writer use any or part of the suggestions I’ve given.  That is for the writer to decide.  I try to be straightforward and kind, honest and helpful.  This doesn’t mean that I believe my opinion is the only one.  Writing, as any other art expression, is always open to interpretation – mine is simply one person’s view.

When I receive critique on my own works I do a few things to prepare myself to be fully receptive.  First of all, I do not read or attend a critique on my work when I am not in the mood to be open to critical comments.  We all have times when we feel the world is attacking us and this is not the right time to be critiqued.  With E-mail, it is easy to leave the letter unopened until you are in a better mindset.

Secondly, I like to take a deep breath.  Sounds pretty feng-shui, tofu-loving, Zen-ish but it really does help.  I find it helps to mentally clear the desk and ready myself.

Next, I try and ascertain the level of experience of the reviewer.  I’ve received written critiques where the reviewer used poor grammar and misspelled words.  I’ve thrown them away before I reached the end.  “Garbage in, garbage out” is the saying, and a writer doesn’t need to take hits to his or her self-esteem from people who are not qualified to read the back of a cereal box, let alone edit it.  To give you a little background on my own qualifications, I have worked in numerous magazines, newspapers and also in print advertizing doing copy writing and editing.  I have ten years of schooling in English, German and Ancient Greek and have published poetry and short fiction in various places.  During my very first critique, the reviewer called my story ‘absurd’ and said he couldn’t understand the point of it at all.  That same story earned me a place on a television show featuring writers.  Funny how that works!  In short, know who is trying to give you advice and decide if they know more or less than you.

Finally, pick and chose.  If the person gives you a critique and you feel they don’t  understand that Suzy was abused in her childhood by Uncle Joe, therefore she’ll never ride horses again, then stop.  Breath.  Take a step back.  Is it possible that you didn’t include Uncle Joe in the story at all?  Is it possible that you’ve made too far a leap and left the reader confused?  The beauty of writing a story is that we, the writers, are privy to all this wonderful back story and character detail that may never make the final edit.  Remember that you only get one chance with a reader, especially in flash fiction, to make your point known.  If your critique says you have confused him or her, you probably have.

On the other hand, if you have been expressive in including the story about Uncle Joe and how he repeatedly used a riding crop on Suzy while she was sweeping out the barn telling her to work faster, the same crop he used on Thunder, her favourite plow horse, and therefore she could never ride Thunder again, then you might have a problem if the reviewer expresses their concern.  As one writer has said, editing is all about “murdering your darlings”.  Sometimes writers are more in love with their own words than anyone else.  Pick and choose what you are willing to cut, to rearrange, to rewrite.  Be fair to the story but also be fair to your readers.  Creating stories for the purpose of publication is not about pleasing one’s self but pleasing the reader.  “If you wish only to adore your own words, send it to your mother” was some advice I received on my last piece of work.  Harsh, but true!  Once the story is out in the world, it is no longer up to the writer to explain his or her intention; the story must do that completely on its own.  It is never a wise idea to become too attached, or fall too deeply in love, with your own work.  It makes it too hard to edit.

This leads me to the purpose of editing.  When was the last time you wrote a piece of work, poem, short story, essay or letter to the mayor, that you didn’t need to revise?  Self-editing and revision is only the first step, critiquing the next.  Workshops and mentoring may also be stops your work may take before finding its way into the hands of the publishing editor…and by then you may not even recognize your baby anymore.  How attached are you to having its nose be taken off and stitched on to its backside?

Finally, take the critique as merely one person’s opinion.  Reviewers do not have some inside track on what the majority of people enjoy, they only know what they like and what they don’t.  Your reviewer may have a deep-seated fear of dogs so critiquing a story whose narrator is a doberman pincher would probably evoke some negative comments.  Yes, critics are slightly human, too, even though it is hard to imagine!

I hope these few paragraphs have been helpful in preparing you to receive critique.  As writer Chuck Palahniuk says, “Sticks and stones may break your bones, but words can hurt like hell.”  Be careful out there – writers are playing with sharp objects.

The reality is Facebook is not your private diary.

In reports one and two, The Facebook Friends Experiment established the reasons to build a bigger audience for your brand and how to begin adding friends.

Now That I’ve Got More Friends, How Do I Interact With Them?

Chances are that once you’ve built a large friend base, that you may not know your new Facebook friends very well.  Here are a couple of tips to stay interactive and approachable:

• Post a new status update every day but no more than 3 times a day.  Status update is a great way to let people know what you’re doing or how you feel about something benign, i.e. current movie.  Post a question to get a polled response!  Don’t post what you had for lunch, please!  Do post where you had lunch and if you liked the restaurant.  Don’t post your political views, do post on solutions to political policies.  Be you…but don’t slam the door on people who have differing opinions.
• Facebook loves to notify you of other people’s birthdays.  Take advantage of this by wishing them well on their special day.  If you are at a loss for what to say, keep it to a simple “Happy Birthday!”
• Respond to others’ statuses. Try to set a goal of commenting on something interesting that one of your newfound friends says at least one a day.  Keep it light and fun, or pose a question.  Sincere flattery always works well.
• Don’t fritter away your time playing games.  Remember you are on Facebook to build your social network, not to waste time. Get on, do your thing, move on.  Set yourself a time limit of 10 minutes…then get back to work.

But I Want Facebook To Be Somewhere I Can Let Loose!

The truth of the Internet today is that nothing you say online is private.  Employers are checking Facebook accounts before they hire prospective employees.  By remembering Facebook is only one more tool to present your best business face, you will not only gain respect from your Facebook friends, you will create a legacy of integrity in communication with others.  Facebook is not a diary or a place to air your dirty laundry about your past employer.  Be a person that people can rely on to be even keeled and not a hothead.  High tempers and diva attitudes get old real fast.

If you want your Facebook to be your private place, that’s okay, too.  This report is to help those that want to take advantage of social media to do so.  Remember that Facebook allows fan pages, which you may find works better for your business.  Also, Mashable.com released a report on adding a Facebook like button to your web pages to increase views, which can be another way to keep Facebook handy but not entirely personal.  Darren Rowse of ProBlogger fame originally added friends to his Facebook account until he was at his friends limit (5000), whereupon he sent this message to unfriend everyone except family.  So, the friending technique in this report can be used until it doesn’t work for you anymore.  By that time, your business may be so popular you may not need it!

See Facebook Friends Experiment: Report Four to gain insight of the long-term goal:  promoting your business.

The odds are overwhelmingly good that even people you do not know will accept your friend request.

In report one, the Facebook Friends Experiment was explained as essentially adding every friend that Facebook suggests to add in order to achieve an audience to promote a product or a brand.  This is especially valuable for owners of small businesses or those that are self-employed but it can work well for large businesses with people who are invested wholly in its mission and values.

How Does Facebook Decide What Friends to Suggest?

Facebook’s friend suggestion is an automatically generated list based upon the friends you already have.

Underneath the friend suggestion, it displays how many mutual friends you have in common with this person.  Facebook will suggest from one mutual friend to an infinite number of common friends.  The highest number of mutual friends I achieved in this experiment was 43.  Typically, the number of mutual friends will be lower until your friend base is over 200.  From there Facebook seems to be able to generate suggestions faster, as well as find common friends because of a larger mutual friend group.

One downside of adding friends from the suggestion box only is that future Facebook suggestion will be shaped upon who initially accepts your friend request.  For example, if many people accept your friend request that you formerly attended high school with, chances are your future friend suggestions will be more former high school acquaintances and the friends of those new Facebook friends.

I Don’t Know These People.  Why Would They Accept My Friend Request?

Depending on how many acquaintances, social groups and friendships you keep in ‘real life,’ you may or may not have any idea of the people now being suggested to you to add on Facebook.  This is all right!  Keep in mind that you are trying to build an audience, not a friendship in the literal sense of the word.   If you put in a request to add a Facebook friend that you do not know here are the outcomes:

1.     They accept your friend request.

2.     They do not accept your friend request, whereupon Facebook will stop suggesting you add them.

3.     They write you a message asking who you are and why you wish to be their friend.  You will respond telling them that you believe you have mutual friends and that Facebook suggested that you add them.  Most likely, they will add you.

4.     They accept your friend request to find out for themselves who you are.

Three out of four options have people accepting your friend request.  Good odds, isn’t it?  And now you have access to find out more about them and interact with them ‘where they live.’  You can’t beat a captive audience like this – better than a television commercial and more engaged than a radio spot.  But now what do you do with them?

See Facebook Friends Experiment: Report Three. It’s all about being authentically you.

Facebook is the commercial break from life.

What is the Experiment About ?

Facebook Friends Experiment  is using the power of the Facebook Friend Suggestion application to gain a larger friend list.  The basic premise is to add every person that Facebook suggests to add.  Facebook draws its suggestions from the people you are currently friends with.  As your list of friends grows, Facebook generates more friends based on your current friend list.

Why Conduct This Experiment?

There are many reasons people may want a larger friend base.  Some people play a ‘numbers game,’ where the person with the most friends is determined to be the most popular.  Some people connect their self-esteem with the amount of friends listed, even if they haven’t talked to those friends for years.  Some people are merely social.  Some are interested in everyone’s gossip (think of the old party telephone lines).  Some people like the interaction with a crowd.  Some just like to lurk.  Some join up for the photos…sometimes it’s the only way to see one another!

The reasons for this experiment contain none of the reasons above.  Besides wanting data to see exactly how one does get a large friends base, it should also be noted that social media is a ‘commercial break’ from life.  Interactions with ‘friends’ can also be interactions with potential clientele, depending on your business.  By keeping your list of friends growing, you are potentially grooming an audience following.  Social media is the new business model.

Sounds Like Using People, Doesn’t It?

In a word, no.  Simply slapping up your product will not encourage Facebook friends to buy your stuff.  They may get so tired of it they remove you as a Facebook friend altogether.  Social media still needs to be social.  And a friend has to be a friend, even in the Facebook world.  By keeping your status updates fun and friendly and having simple chit-chat with your growing list of friends, people will want to support you instinctively.  This is what good friends do!

See Facebook Friends Experiment: Report Two for more information of what happened next and why.

Muggle cards are very handy when stopped by muggles (non-geocaching folk) while out on the trail.  Instead of looking suspicious or lying to people why you are poking around in the bush (“I was looking for my contact lens.”), hand them a card to explain geocaching.

It makes you seem legit and it may just get the muggle interested in the sport.  See also: Geocaching Savvy: Muggles…Who Are They?

Feel free to download this sheet of ten one-sided muggle business cards from this PDF. Write your geocaching name on the back and/or your logo.  Another great idea: print off a set to leave as trade items in your next find.

Carpe cache!

I see your name tumbling off bus stop benches,
swirled in graffiti on the school brick wall
and on the outside of coffee cups in the street’s litter.
Not really,
not really when I read them again.
More careful this time.

…has been one of the top searches to my blog lately.  Frankly, if you want to know about it, just ask me.  Use britty@brittybooks.com or call my house.  I’ll tell you what you need to know.

Don’t be all sneaky-like.  It doesn’t suit you.

…arrived today!  1000 of them to distribute and encourage (or harass) people into reading my stuff.  Here’s the front:

The back of the card didn’t scan up very well because it’s a washout of the front design with some more encouragement (harassment) to have people contact me for an interview.

And since we’re on the subject of harassment, let me encourage y’all out there in ether-land to read me at www.examiner.com/calgary .  I’m located under the Sports and Recreation tab in Geocaching.  I’m the recreation, as always.

See you there! (..and don’t forget to subscribe or I’ll have to harass you some more….)