Just got back from the theatre and wow! crowded!  Who knew that so many seniors had their date night on a Monday?  Good thing for my daughter and I that they don’t eat popcorn…at least that line was smaller.

Got an aisle seat about 6 rows back from the front and within the next 15 minutes the entire theatre was full to bursting.  I hate sitting next to people.  It’s a personal space thing.

There were even a few fellows in attendance.  They were all about 80 but hey.

The movie started off great!  People were laughing so loud and hard that I often missed the next few lines.  I realized about two-thirds in that the jokes were getting a bit spaced out.  I suppose this is where the so-called ‘cinematic tension’ comes in.  But was there tension really?

Some spoilers ahead:

She finishes her challenge to herself, we know her husband loves her, we’re at the movie because it was a book, obviously Julia Child had her book published…what tension?  I kind of feel the way I did going to see the movie Titanic.  Are we really expecting a different sort of outcome?

Both Meryl Streep and Amy Adams were awesome to the point of bursting.  Stanley Tucci?  Love him!

Okay, here’s another question: did she have time to do anything else besides eat, sleep, shop for food, cook and blog?  And did the cat eat anything she cooked?  Where did all her friends go while she was doing all this cooking…and then why did they show up to eat in the end?  Whose friends were they?  What happened to the bitchy friends at the beginning?  Did she have to buy a lot of new cooking utensils?  Did she ever have trouble finding ingredients?

I suppose these were cut for the sake of time.  The movie was pickin’ long.  I’m thinking those old folks were wearing their colostomy bags for date night or something.

Anyway.

Great flick, go see it.  Think about butter and its applications in your life.

Invasion

was more of a delusion,

a side-stepping of a dream 

of meaning, 

of dire fire-building on drafty plains.  The eleventh hour

contained more headlines

than a stomach could ever acid.  Invasion

travelled by wire, as fast as mongrel fear

could follow.  Invasion as isolation, as a Munsch of paranoia,

in the end we are alone,

we and the wonderful Id of Oz.   Invasion,

at first your neighbours, then

the others, at last your-self.  Invasion was a pound of cure

inflicted upon the healthy. 

Are you infected, they

asked and I answered

I was never exposed.

The writer’s strike has made movie goers of us all.  Last night couldn’t get into Salt and Pepper Mexican Restaurante (lined up out the door busy), so caught the movie early and had a salty popcorn dinner instead.  Good movie, great actors.  I was very surprised at the weight Jacky has gained, actually, but I suppose he’s getting up there in age so he can have an extra donut once in awhile.  When they were shaving his head, I was reminded of one of my favourite movies, One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, when he gets his lobotomy and whaddja know?  He ends up getting brain surgery!  No spoilers, folks, this is all within the first 10 minutes.

Morgan Freeman is great, as always.  I love the comment Nicholson makes about his freckles, “Have you always had those freckles?”  Mr. Freeman needs to get some new teeth, though.  He probably has one of those dentists that says it’s best if you keep your own teeth as long as you can.  Mr. Freeman, with all respect, I think you had better get those puppies yanked and get some loverly straight dentures.

About the movie!  It was great, very funny!  It even had a sad part at the end, of course, and I’m sure you can suppose what that might be given the subject of the movie.  Lots of green screen, whoo!  Suppose it would cost far too much to travel to every location plus some that you see in the commercial.  At times it was overpowering and/or corny.  Favourite scene:  the car race, or Jack doing his thing he does with his eyebrows.  Least favourite:  Jack in a hearing up at the front of the film in a crazy button-up sweater.  Call me shallow but did they pull that sweater off some poor homeless man?

Rotten Tomatoes only has this one at 42% currently.  I would give it at least 70%…but what do I know, I was evaluating their teeth, weight and clothing.

There really isn’t anything much on to watch anymore.  Stupid writers strike. 

And yes, I am smarter than a fifth grader. 

This guy on the idiot box right now doesn’t know which continent the largest rainforest is, how many E’s are in the word Mathematics, or what a reciprocal might be.  Yikes.  Was Jeff Foxworthy teaching this guy in school?  Where do they find all these well-dressed dummies anyway?  Oh right.  They’re American.  (Sorry B.    )

Saw this surprising period piece last night.  No huge actors, just a lot of accomplished lesser mortals, such as Richard Harrisof Dumbledore fame, and the dude who played Horatio Hornblower.  Rufus Sewell, who has eerie Johnny Depp/Tim Burton-esque moments, was especially good and sadly didn’t contribute to more of the story.  I hope to see him cast in a leading role someday soon.

The story was that of William Wilberforce trying to pass an anti-slavery bill and the British House of Commons in the years beginning 1797.  A yawner one would think but it was very well done.  The only weakness the movie had was the confusing flashbacks and forwards from time to time.  And, for me, old guys in powdered wigs tend to look alike, so I confused the Dumbledore fellow with the guy who does a superb job of playing the man who wrote the Amazing Grace hymn. 

Religious movie?  Nope.  The hymn seems to just a means of explanation of personal philosophy instead of worship.  Interesting…but I thought almost unnecessary.  This movie could have been called William Wilberforce for all the hymn came into play.

I still am tickled when people who do good also know others who do good and perhaps they are well-known or become well-known in the future.  It’s like a secret club of do-gooders just doing their good thing together.  Good for them!

Well, just read.  Again.  After watching the movie over the weekend.  I must say, I was intensely curious as to how, exactly, the director was going to extend the one of the shortest stories in the collection Everything’s Eventual in order to make a feature length film.  The answer is:  make up a whole new subplot and thrown in a whole bunch of good actors.  I can’t fault John Cusack or Samuel L., but where the heck did a dead daughter come into the story of an evil room?  And why do King’s personal comments on the story become lines of the main character?  Funny, but hey.  C’mon.

And, spoiler here, what’s the deal with him dying at the end?  That didn’t happen in the short story now.  I was looking forward to him getting out for two hours and then he dies?!  Man, how disappointing.  And eerily similar to “Being John Malkovich”.  Was it the same director?  I’m too lazy to check.

Things I thought could have been played up from the story:  there was no bowl of fruit picture!!  That was a main focus, wasn’t it?  That crazy, orangey apple.  I loved that apple.

Things that were done better in the movie:  the whole scene where Cusack takes a walk on the ledge and there are no windows on the whole building.  When he comes back in the fire exit map is blacked out except for 1408.  Nice piece of visual emphasis.  See also, the old man in the air duct and the Cusack twin across the way.  Freaky!

But, on the whole, a little disappointing.  Glad it was a $3 movie instead of a $13 one.

Story – still worth $13.  and you get the rest of the book as well.

So, On the Lot finale wrap up and award last night.  As you can see from the website, if you haven’t been following the show is that Will Bigham, generally all around nice guy, if not bald and lipless individual, finished first.  I am surprised!  From his first film I thought there was something cliche and slightly ‘kick-dog’ about him but it seems this is what the people like.  My favourite, Zach Lipovsky, Canadian, young, and wonderfully nerdy, sadly got voted out at 4 left with trying to make a poor attempt the week before fixable.  Dear Zach, you had it in the bag, man!  Whyja do that?!

Lesson learned here – stick with what you do best, or else the guy that appeals to the camera every week by mentioning how he’ll be supporting his two young daughters with the money he will earn will slide right past you and into Steven Spielberg’s studio.

What was the deal with that closing shot anyway, Spielberg?  Can’t spare a moment to come on down to the TV station?  TV beneath you?

Well, that was about the most underwhelming surprise that I knew from day one.  Rock wins, Rock wins!  Toot, toot, toot.

I mean, c’mon, against the nanny who doesn’t do any housecleaning from California?  Were you really worried, Rock?  And Josh, the Mars God of War lookalike, if you can’t fry a crabcake without burning it 9 times over, then I think you may be in the wrong profession.

The best part of the show was Gordon Ramsey talking about the cooks and what he was excited to see them do.  He bounces!  And where do I get one of those short-sleeved chef coats?  Commercial announcing ‘new’ show called Kitchen Nightmares.  This is not a new show!  In Britain, Ramsey has been hosting a show called Ramsey’s Kitchen Nightmares for years!  I guess the producers in America haven’t seen it.  Next they’ll be touting “The F-Word” as “Get Outta My Kitchen, You Don-kay!” (and if you watch HK, you’ll know exactly what I mean.)

Good luck in Vegas, Rock.  If all your troubles were as easy as picking you to win, I’m sure you’ll do fabulous.

I’m still trying to figure out what the actual ultimatum was.  Usually, it is presented in the form:  if you don’t, then I won’t….

Here is what I’ve pieced together, having seen both of the other films (and not really understanding those either):

1.  If you don’t tell us who Jason Bourne really is, then he won’t work for you anymore (except he never really did…at least not that we saw.  And if he did, he didn’t do it for very long.)

2.  If you tell us don’t who the bad guys are, then Jason Bourne will just kill everyone.

3.  If you don’t put in at least one car chase, you can’t officially call yourself an action movie.

4.  If the bad guys aren’t old and wrinkly and stupid, then Tom Clancy will be mad.

5.  If Jason Bourne doesn’t have at least one beautiful girl on his side, he might start exhibiting homosexual tendencies.  A definite no-no for an action movie.

6.  If there aren’t 40 shots fired for every one that finds home, then the techie guys that make the blanks will go on strike.

7.  If there aren’t 70 different locations, you can’t call it a Jason Bourne movie and we can’t bill it.

8.  If Matt Damon doesn’t have at least 42 profile shots featuring his weirdly cut nose tip, he’ll cancel his contract.

9.  If the camera holds still for just one second, the world might just stop spinning (or my head would.  For all of you with motion sickness – bring Gravol.).

10. If you’re a single girl coming to this movie, then you’re very smart. (90% guys in my theatre.).

11. If you kill off the bad guys in the last movie (Treadstone), morph them into a new corporation (Blackbriar).

I’m out of ultimatums.  The action was good.  There was a scene with Matt Damon doing a Jackie Chan thing in the shower while the bad guy is whipping a straight razor at him and Damon is holding him off with a hand towel.  If the camera wasn’t so jerky (ALL THE TIME) I think this would have shown a lot better.  Is the fight scene choreographer mad?  I’d be. 

Does Julia Stiles have any other expression than pouty, questioning?  Does her skin actually move?

12.  If this movie had the biggest box office in August of all time, are we starved for entertainment?

I really wanted to see this flick in the theatre and I’m still a little miffed that I didn’t, but great movie anyway.  The CGI on the guy’s chests was a little much (honestly, I can ‘pretend’ they’re big and strong.  every guy doesn’t need a six pack.)  And has anyone every noticed Frank Miller is a dirty old man?  I can almost predict when the next boob scene is coming.  Ooop, ooop, wait for it, ok, BOOBS!  And another statement on Frankie’s sense of dignity:  the women in admirable roles have small boobs, almost non-existent, the naughty girls have these giant inflatable ones.  Here’s another hint – they’re usually the lesbian ones, as well, or perhaps just the highly-sexed dolls.

Xerxes was pretty awesome.  The scene involving him and King Lionitus was well done.  Xerxes as a 7 foot tall hermaphrodite.  There’s something you don’t see everyday.

Because Spartans are fighting instead of thinking people, the whole strategy of the battle was not very interesting, too bad.   There were a few William Wallace scenes, especially the final speech and I assume Sparta came out ahead in the end since souvlaki is available for sale in my grocery store.

Lots of gore, but good flick.  It’ll make you want to cook your steak rare.